When a baby dies, they sometimes leave behind bereaved siblings who suffer two losses: the sister or brother they were expecting to grow up with, and their parents as they knew them before the loss.

Helping children to understand loss can be extremely difficult. It’s very common for parents who are also dealing with their own grief following the loss of their child to feel worried and anxious about how their other children will be affected by the death of their little brother or sister.

Here are some tips from various charities and organisations that may make handling the loss of a little brother or sister easier for children…

• Siblings may want to choose a teddy to add to a memory box or to place with their lost baby brother or sister.
• They can work with their parents or with hospital bereavement staff to draw, write in a journal or keep a diary. Doing so can help them process emotions that they otherwise might struggle to express.
• It’s good for siblings to have opportunities to remember and celebrate their lost baby brother or sister, especially on birthdays, anniversaries, and other special times throughout the year.
• Be sure to offer them reassurance that they are loved and not to blame for what has happened.
• Encourage them to ask questions and talk about what has happened openly.
• Use simple and honest words when you talk to other children about the baby’s death. You can say things like, “The baby didn’t grow,” or “The baby was born very tiny.” Try not to confuse them by saying things like, “The baby is sleeping,” or “I lost the baby.”

There are so many amazing charitable organisations that you can reach out to. Here are just a few…

• Child Bereavement UK helps children and young people (up to age 25), parents, and families, to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies.
• Childhood bereavement charity Winston’s Wish provides emotional and practical bereavement support to children, young people and those who care for them. 
• Having a continued link with their lost baby sibling is an important part of coping with grief. To help, the Lily Mae Foundation offers a Sibling Support pack, which supports parents to make and collect memories of their lost baby, and share this experience with their other children.

Follow Baby Loss Awareness Week on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to learn more, and to donate, follow this link.